What being straight edge means to me

“What do you do for fun if you don’t drink?” is a question people commonly ask me  particularly at university or a party. A lot of 18 to 20 something year olds struggle to get their head around why I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs with it being such a common social activity nowadays. Even the term “straight edge” is completely new to most if you’re not aware of the hardcore/punk scene. When asked why I don’t drink I usually respond with “it’s not my thing” and I can say that and write this piece because I was drinking from the age of 15; I know what it’s like to both drink and be straight edge.

I claimed edge in March 2017 after recently going vegan and I thought it was important for me to look after my health. At first it was always about the health aspect because I knew I wanted to look after myself and live a long time; I had no issue with people drinking and being drunk. However, over time I started to notice things.  I noticed a lot of the negative aspects that alcohol has on social behaviour and relationships.

The first thing I noticed when giving up drinking was that the fun that was being had while drunk wasn’t real. I thought about a certain situation I have found myself in when I have been drunk and then I took away all alcohol that was consumed. I simply mean being in a club, with the pounding pop music being blasted, the questionable dancing and the want for sex would not been remotely fun if you weren’t intoxicated. Can you even imagine comfortably doing that sober? I have heard from people that drink and they have said that they couldn’t go to club and not be drunk and this is something that confuses me- if it wasn’t fun sober and only can be when you're off your face drunk, then what was the point? Why put yourself in an intoxicated state only to experience something you may or may not enjoy? Along with that, you always wake up feeling on the edge of death and with regrets about who you kissed the night before and if you said something that you shouldn't have let slip.

Giving up drinking has allowed me to form close, genuine friendships and not feel the need to drink to be comfortable in someone’s company. What I experience is “real”; the memories are clear and its not fake happiness that I'm experiencing from alcohol. Things that I say aren't revolving around the idea of 'drunk words are sober thoughts' and it means that i'm reassured that those around me who aren't drinking are being real too- rather than confessing their love for me because they've had one too many glasses of Rose.

However, everyone goes straight edge for their own reasons. Personally, straight edge isn’t just about quitting drugs- its more about changing your outlook on life. If I'm being particularly cynical- the world isn't a nice place with wars, climate change, racism, homophobia and people still not respecting women and so much more. I worked and have taken the time to try and make myself a better person by avoiding drugs in order to help me lead a positive life because I can now see clear enough to understand that there is more to life than intoxication and drinking pints. I also now don't have to rely on this as a coping mechanism.

Overall, my experience being straight has mostly been a positive experience. Being straight edge has allowed me to look after myself, be more focussed, make informed decisions and have a clear mind. It also enabled me to properly deal with problems, instead of blocking it out with drugs. But the most negative part being straight edge is the overwhelming feeling that you’re the only one sober in the room because at some points you come to the realisation that not everyone is like you because you’re the one with Xs on you. Most other people are consumed by the binge drinking, drug taking partying culture that inhabits people of my age. Saying that, I have not gained anger towards people that do drink and do drugs. I'm now simply feel that my life is worth more than damaging my body and building fake fun- that's why I shall continue to be straight edge.

By Sam Hennerley